I wonder about my own intentions. I am still anxious about the course of my own future (job, school, place to live) and begin to wonder – seriously – if the most basic trek preparations are becoming just too overwhelming with all the other balls I have in the air right now. It is a question I have been avoiding answering for a solid month. In the past days I have been able to put the security issues aside and begin to look at things from this stand point. I feel so overwhelmed. I ask myself if would I be as hesitant to give up the trip if I were going to Alaska or Switzerland or Africa. The immediate answer is no. I would give it up in a heartbeat. But the fact of the matter is, this is not that. But a major source of my anxiety is NOT the fact that it is Pakistan. It is the fact that life in the United States is proving to be a bigger challenge.