I’ve been back now for over two weeks. School started. Apartment moved and furniture has arrived. I have had little time to process, which is why blog posts are lacking.
Mostly I’ve been asking myself, how to tell and what to tell. I”m not just talking about long wordy explanations or definitions. Sometimes I am just thinking in words or phrases or half-formulated sentences… Because that seems to be all there is right now.. I am having a hard time talking about, writing about, sometimes even thinking about an experience that was so visceral on so many levels.
I feel a real responsibility to talk about Pakistan -what I saw, what I experienced – and I am wondering how to tell this story. Like I said, right now my brain is only processing words. phrases. pictures. memories… and so writing a list that says “Garnet mountain, landcruisers, pickax, blue barrels, Braldu, and gypsies” is more of a mean trick or tease rather than any kind of exploration of my experience. Maybe I start with the stories of people. Of Ayub and Murad, Khalil and Ibrahim. Maybe I tell about the mountain itself, the scree fields and boulders, the landslides in the middle of the night and raging waters. Right now, there are just not words that make sense.